UK Coastguard Intercepts French Radio Broadcast

by Lisa Mylchreest on 20 Jul 2008 A quiet moment in the Solent Coastguard radio room.

'Hey quick listen to this!'

'What? What? I'm drinking my tea - I'm on a break!'

'It's on the emergency channel, but they are speaking French!'

'French? In British waters?'

'Yes, but what are they saying?'

'How would I know, I don't speak French. Are they saying 'Mayday Mayday Mayday?

'No, eedyot, they're talking French'

'Well, we're supposed to be the Coastguard - maybe we should go guard the coast - you can never trust those French.'

'By ourselves?'

'Why - do you think it might be an Armada?'

'I think that was Spanish.'

'Well that's ruined my tea break. We'd better get out there. Call the Coastguard helicopter from Lee on Solent. What other vessels have we got?

'Well, Needles Coastguard might help and Yarmouth RNLI have a Lifeboat which is pretty good.'

'Get anyone you can, and see if you can find anyone who speaks French.'

'Just a moment, I just heard them say 'Jackpot'! Clear as day, in the middle of all the French gabble, they said 'Jackpot'!'

'Jackpot! They've won the Jackpot? Is that Britain? Or is it code for something? Very strange. Scramble all the boats and helicopters you can and let's get out there.'

'I'm on it sir!'

'and if you can't find someone who speaks French, try the red-phone radio, and speak to the French Command'

'You want me to speak to the FRENCH?'

'In times of emergency, officer, sacrifices are required.'

'YES SIR.'

PRESS RELEASE:
Solent Coastguard intercepted an urgency broadcast at 4.00 pm (Friday) from a vessel later found to be the French yacht Jackpot. Communications were difficult and the French Coastguard was requested to assist. The
Coastguard helicopter from Lee on Solent was scrambled, Needles Coastguard Rescue Team was despatched and Yarmouth RNLI Lifeboat was requested to launch.

When the helicopter and lifeboat arrived, they found the yacht, with two people on board, drifting towards a lee shore with a severely damaged rudder. The yacht was taken in tow by the lifeboat to Yarmouth.

Editor's Note: The imaginary exchange above the press release is fictitious, and bears no resemblance to the actions or the procedures of the real organisations depicted, nor of the officers employed by them
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Readers' Letters:

UK Coastguard Intercepts French Radio Broadcast Accuracy

Sir

I have just been sent the post sent to you by Lisa Mylchreest regarding the epic rescue of the yacht Jackpot. As I was the officer in charge at Solent Coastguard at the time I feel duty bound to correct a couple of fundamental errors:

1. I was drinking coffee at the time. It is well known that I only ever have one cup of tea and that is last thing before knocking off.
2. All of my watch are fully aware that the Armada was Spanish. Indeed we feel that had we been on watch at the time of the Armada it would not have been the unmitigated disaster that it turned out to be. In fact we feel confident that we could have provided them with accurate weather information and safety advice and therefore avoided the tragic loss to shipping and life that took place.

Other than that her report on the tension in the radio room is fairly accurate.

Regards, Harry Leslie
HM Coastguard from Harry Leslie