Sailors' thrills and spills on dry land

by Guy Nowell, Sail-World Asia on 19 Nov 2008 It's an annual diversion from the more serious business of the yacht racing - the Penang Trishaw races, when crews racing in the Raja Muda Selangor International Regatta go head to head in a slightly different mode of transportation.

There are rules (really!) and even a Notice of Race which contains useful information such as:

Formula 140kg trishaws (combined passenger and rider weight)
Chassis must be Penang State Trishaw Association homologated.

18 Elimination Heats
21.3 Losing teams will down a refreshment chosen by the Clerk of the Course.

16.1 Scrutineering.
Scrutineers shall not be required to give a reason for any decision but may at their absolute discretion require a driver to comply with their request.

24 Protests.
Protests will not be entertained as they use up too much drinking time.

The rules of racing are not complicated, but seem to take longer to explain each year. Whether this is can be attributed due to increasingly fuzzy mental capacities among sailors remains... unclear.

1 One driver and one (or two) passenger(s) per trishaw
2 One passenger downs a beer
3 Passenger and driver proceed to respective positions in the vehicle, Le Mans-type start
4 Two laps for heats, five laps for final.
5 Winner of each heat goes to final.

There is room for liberal interpretation of regulations here, mostly concerning spillage during drinking. Honestly, you'd think most of these people had had so much practice at drinking that they'd be able to do it without spilling...

Penang trishaws are meant to be driven at something less than snail's pace, by a driver weighing no more than 40 kg, dripping wet. The capacity for acceleration (and then braking) when under command of a 100 kg rum-fuelled grinder is unpredictable at best.

There was the usual fair share of amazingly bad driving, kerb-mounting, cheating, road rage, water bombs, 'pringled' wheels, and even an epic moment when Sam Hunt and Cozzie literally scooped up a female spectator who happened to be on the track in front of them and then carried her round three more laps to a resounding defeat in the final. 'There have to be better ways of picking up girls,' said Hunt in an poignant interview later.

This year's event produced worthy winners from the crew of Mata Hari - who thereby won two races in one day (but the Regatta Director says they are not permitted to discard their result from Race 1 and replace with this effort).