Gladwell's Line: Married at First Sight - Am Cup style
by Richard Gladwell, Sail-World.com/nz 25 Mar 2018 20:45 PDT
26 March 2018
Married at First Sight © Richard Gladwell
Our newsletter function has been offline for four months as part of the cut-over to the new technology platform for Sail-World, however we are now back with the new, improved model.
Looking back at the last Sail-World New Zealand newsletter of November 27, it seems there has been little real progress in the past four months on the America's Cup bases.
Sure the Resource Consent has been lodged for the option selected by Auckland Council.
Submissions have been opened, extended by two weeks, for reasons which were unclear and then finally closed less than a couple of weeks ago.
However, despite a democratic decision by the Auckland Council, the Labour-led Government has refused to accept it and appears to be carrying out their threat to lodge a second Resource Consent.
Quite what happens if the Environment Court grants both Consents, is far from clear. The situation is a Bugger's Muddle characterised by too many players trying to achieve other objectives. To them, the America's Cup in Auckland seems to be just a means of achieving other outcomes.
Perhaps fittingly the Australian version of the top-rating TV reality show Married at First Sight is coming to an end, making way for New Zealand version of the show centred around the America's Cup.
If you are unaware of the series, Married at First Sight is where couples get married first, and then try and sort out the relationship later. If it doesn't work then you get a quick divorce - by mutual agreement.
When Grant Dalton woke up on June 27, 2017, in Bermuda and started thinking about a Defence in Auckland, he probably realised that he would be getting hitched to one partner - Auckland's Mayor, Phil Goff.
They had their first date on the Victory Parade through Auckland, and all seemed well, despite the rain.
(Emirates Team NZ's iwi, Ngati Whatua would have it that an event is blessed when it rains - being the tears of ancestors. Over the past few months, these have been tears of anguish rather than joy.)
Unfortunately, Dalts realised early in his arranged marriage, and after a change in Government that he was really in a three-way relationship - with Phil's old parliamentary buddy, David Parker also a player the in the America's Cup dating game.
Sadly for Dalts, he didn't find out about a lot of these dalliances directly from Phil but read about them in the tabloid press. It's not the best way of finding out what your newlywed is up to, and with who.
Despite a couple of formal meetings with Phil's (Auckland Council) whanau to sort out the relationship, Phil's old flame David just wouldn't go away. Many of Phil's whanau are used to mixing in the same social circles as David and his political friends, and the old relationships continued to simmer.
Although he was often out of the country, David resorted to texting his political buddies during a Council hui to sort out the arranged marriage, pleading with those present to be allowed to keep wooing Phil.
A couple of weeks before Christmas, Phil's whanau decided that marriage was a marriage, and they'd had enough of David and his too many plans for the twosome to become a threesome.
On his return from a South American sojourn, just before Christmas, David continued as if nothing had happened. He had his whanau draft up a few more concept plans for Dalts family mansion, without saying if or how he could help fund it.
Then the Odd Couple, Micky and Angie appeared on the scene.
Micky is a music teacher and had been a fringe player for a while. His new best friend, Angie is Mother Superior of a company that owns property over the fence from where Dalts used to live.
Neither were overjoyed about where Dalts was going to build his new pad. They were even less enthusiastic when they found out that Dalts was planning on inviting his America's Cup mates to live nearby.
Micky had the hots for the harbour, and while he didn't oppose Dalts hanging out with his America's Cup mates, he'd much prefer to have them on the nearby (oil) Tank Farm.
"What will that do for our views?" Angie wailed about the plan that Phil and his whanau had approved. Then realising that your average punter wouldn't be too bothered about her waterfront view loss, she switched to the altruistic line, like Micky, that the bases would be much better placed amongst the fuel tanks. The relationship quickly developed. Not only could they finish each others' sentences but their notes to the tabloid media were also very similar. Too similar some would say.
Then the plans for Dalts' new pad began to flow thick and fast. It didn't seem to matter whether they asked Dalts what he wanted or needed. The main thing was that Dalts, and his mates got a pad that Micky, Angie, Phil and Dave liked - and if Dalts didn't want to live there than that was his problem.
The ingrate could always go and live in Italy, couldn't he?
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This edition is longer than normal, and depending on content we should be back on course for two newsletters a week.
In case you missed it on the Sail-World.com website, the JJ Giltinan Trophy, won by Honda Marine - the first win for a New Zealand crew on Sydney harbour in the 80 year history of the trophy. It was a great result for the New Zealand team - four boats in the top eight, and the trophy only able to be won by NZ crews going into the final day. Plus a great effort by the Maersk crew in their first JJ Giltinan Trophy, finishing second, just a single point behind Honda Marine.
All stories are available on Sail-World.com/nz
Good sailing!
Richard Gladwell
NZ Editor
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