Farr 40's for the 'Forty Somethings'

by Crosbie Lorimer on 23 Apr 2001 There seemed something slightly ironic about the email request from Dick for confirmation that I would be old enough to race on 'Syntegra Rapscallion' in the upcoming 'Farr 40 Over 40 Regatta'. After all this was the same week in which a visit to the optometrist revealed that I needed reading glasses. But then again, with only two of our normal crew not meeting the age qualifications, perhaps my fading eyesight, multiplying chins and receding hairline were really no worse than the widening girths on a few of the rest of the crew.

So, on a wet and windless autumn morning I parked my car in the RPA's disabled parking space. Pulling the zimmer frame out of the boot I wheeled myself down to the Club to join the rest of the old codgers with steamed up glasses and rain damaged hearing aids for a pre-race breakfast.

For the younger folk hanging around the club it would have been an entertaining site. Not only were a bunch of old 'has-beens' going out to sail on six high performance yachts, but some of them had decided to unearth sailing gear that was trendy when Noah sailed his Ark. Mildewy and salt-caked jackets displayed faded names like 'Condor of Bermuda' and 'Admirals Cup Team 1976'.

The aged based handicap formula in the racing instructions was an entertaining read too, the explanation of which revealed ' For a 10 person crew with a total age of 450 years there is 100 seconds reduction in elapsed time. Effectively, each year of each crew member is worth 2 seconds per race.' On that basis one or two of the crews looked like they wouldn't need to leave the bar to win this regatta.

Yes, this was going to be an interesting day.

Our evening 'training session' earlier in the week had revealed a few areas where some improved co-ordination was going to be needed if we were going to get round the course in one piece. So, when we'd motored past the lifeless Sydney 38s (waiting to start their State Titles regatta) to the race course at The Basin we decided to hoist the kite and try a few gybes. By the fourth chaotic tangle just about everyone had an opinion as to who was creating the mayhem, so we canned that exercise and resigned ourselves to sorting it out on the course.

In barely five knots and a shifty south to southwest breeze the Committee Boat took two attempts to start us before the breeze died away altogether. Just as we were all suggesting a race under engine back to the bar, the wind filled in gently from the southwest and we were off. We all had a good laugh at our attempts at roll tacking; agility was clearly not going to be our strong suite.

After a good start we threw it away, getting boxed out from third at the top mark. If nothing else age lends you a sense of proportion and there was a calm exchange of perspectives with Emotional Hooligan as we infringed. The polite suggestion that a protest was being considered was followed by well-mannered apology from Clogs our tactician as we started an enforced 360. Our attempts to avoid infringing Leroy Brown at the same time left us at the rear of the fleet.

But Clogs didn't need to apologise for a good call on the next windward leg, holding out to the right hand side of the course and pulling back three places in the process, finishing a respectable third with Corinthian Doors inhaling the gunsmoke.

Race two was……….well, my memory's not all that it was and I've already forgotten most of what happened; but I can vaguely recall two incidents.

Firstly, old age had clearly got the better of Warren Weickman's hearing, steering Leroy Brown blithely into the first top mark on port with a fixed grin and a wave of his Crown Lager bottle (yes, Crown Lager on Leroy Brown. The only way to get over 40 year olds to go racing perhaps!).

And secondly there was a lot of shouting going on as six boats with unfamiliar crew all attempted gybe sets in five knots of breeze at a highly biased top mark. Still, we all came good and most of us had managed to get the brace in the pole by the time we'd crossed the finish line.

Corinthian Doors took the gun again with the Emotional Hooligan not far behind and Envy getting over us to take third. The Committee offered us a third race, but on doctor's advice we returned to the retirement village, pausing briefly at the bar to congratulate Richard Perini and his ancient mariners on Corinthian Doors for taking out the regatta on scratch and handicap. First prize, a carbon fibre prosthetic of your choice; and for each of the crew of the runner up, Marcus Blackmore's Emotional Hooligan, a kevlar colostemy bag.

All in all it had been a lot of fun and the idea has some interesting possibilities in other one designs. Perhaps 'The Sydney 38 Wrong Side of 38' or an all-female 'Mumm's Over 30'. But I guess the theme has got its natural limits………'Open 60 Over 60s' could be a scary concept.

Report by, mastman, bow caddy and quadrogenarian on Syntegra Rapscallion