…and don’t call me Shirley!

by John Curnow on 19 Sep 2016 Ah yes! It could only be the truly inimitable Dr. Rumack (Leslie Nielsen) from Airplane! (And that takes us all the way back to 1980 – believe it or not.) You know the lines; it’s when Ted Striker (Robert Hays) says, “Surely you cannot be serious?” To which Rumack then replies, “I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley!”



Well here we are, and I’m now trying put on a Nielsen-esque dead pan face to deliver, “I am serious.” What about? World Sailing’s new Sailing World Cup v4.0. We have written so much about its forerunners over the years, and even predicted the likely nature of v4.0 only a few months ago. When the expected announcement came during the week, Sail-World.com wrote the following.

“As World Sailing's Sailing World Cup goes in for modification to become SWC v4.0, it is clear the big losers are Australia and China, who lose their rounds of the oft-stalled event.”

“Japan gains a round in the lead up to Tokyo 2020, with Europe retaining pre-eminence. A while ago, one commentator said of the now defunct v3.0, and most specifically the final in Melbourne, 'Has the smell of failure about it.' Well yes it does, so we hope the defibrillator has sparked some life into the corpse.”

OK. So all of that stands, but could Australian Sailing really be serious when a few days later, with their bottom lip quivering, they go crying to Mummy? C’mon! It had its biggest year back in 2011, and has slid oh-so-inexorably ever since. Look at the positive. At least the cash-strapped Victorian Government won’t be asked to shell out hundreds of thousands of shekels more on the Spruce Goose going forward. Those penguins will be happy – ‘Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave!’

I mean the same learned and esteemed commentator said to me, following Australian Sailing’s tears, “Surely they did not believe their own mail, that all was right with the world when Melbourne attracts just 80 competitors for the Olympic Classes, and Europe snares 800-1000 at its SWC events. Surely?”

So yes. Do your best Elmer Fudd and put that axe on the grindstone (Shhh. We’re hunting wabbits!), but this was one Ensign that had been on the Jack Staff for ages, and anyone who thinks the Champagne crew at World Sailing give a toss about ‘inclusion’, or us Antipodeans, has had more of the bubbles than Croce himself.

Clearly I am a proud Australian, but having lived and worked overseas, I do feel I can wear a global suit when required, much like a special function that needs a bag of fruit (suit) and tie. The SWC has had issues for ages and even the Qingdao leg, with all that prize money numbering hundreds of thousands of dollars, did not attract big fields either...

Moving on then, and the IOC, via World Sailing, has said that at Tokyo 2020, sailing will need to be snazzier. We’ve also written about that in recent times (just get the foiling Nacra sorted and put the men and women in an OD Moth to keep it all mostly inside the current structure), but I could not help thinking that if there are to be tears, then perhaps they should be as a result of WS not getting their ‘stuff’ together in time to save Sailing in the 2020 Paralympics.

Getting that Boxing Kangaroo out once more, we find that Matt Bugg nearly made it a clean sweep for Australia in the last class to be decided, the 2.4m. A DSQ in the penultimate race put paid to his one point lead and nearly his podium aspirations, but a terrific bullet in the last race ensured Silver for the solo sailor. Earlier, hats went off to Daniel Fitzgibbon and Liesel Tesch in the SKUD18 for an absolute blinder of a regatta, and almost as commanding was the win for Colin Harrison, Russell Boaden and Jonathan Harris in the Sonar. So it is the last time our Paralympians will get that sort of bling, and to do it in such emphatic style is utterly praiseworthy. Well done!

Then, whilst reviewing all the Paralympic material, I received a note from Peter Conde, the Performance Director at Australian Sailing, in relation to his entry in the rapidly approaching Etchells Queensland State Championships from 1-3 October, inclusive. It is actually the back of Peter’s head on the left of the snap above that Jake Lilley took of the parade at Santander a few years ago, and highlights just how big the Euro circuit really is.

Anyway, Conde said of the regatta, “We are looking forward to quality racing at the QLD States, knowing that there are some really good teams intending to race and the club’s race management always do an excellent job. Myles Baron-Hay, Brian Hillier and I last sailed together at the Etchells Worlds in Cowes, twenty years ago, so it will be fun to get the band back together again.”

Now if you would like to receive the Sail-World newsletter each week, then please go to the 'Newsletter' button at the top of the Sail-World home page and enter your details. Simple...