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Thou doth protest too much, me thinks

by John Curnow on 18 Apr 2016
Sir Laurence Olivier as Hamlet. Event Media
And no, we’re not off to analyse Hamlet right away. There’ll be no surtitles popping up on the top of your screen about now. At any rate, it is simply an adaptation of Lady Gertrude’s original line. We merely seek to use it as a way to demonstrate that when there is a lot of brouhaha going on, the smoke screen ultimately ends up as a lovely, colourful flag as to the real intent behind it.

Last week we looked at the new One Sailing, formerly Yachting Australia, and the hitherto jewel in the crown, the Sailing World Cup (SWC) Melbourne.

As it turns out, SWC Melbourne had its biggest entry list way back in 2011 and last year, the final of the quadrennial before the big show, was disappointing, at best.

Yes, it seems it’s all signed up for another two years as is, where is, but the one thing that was possibly going to overcome the tyranny of distance hangs in the balance, or is that balance sheet?

I know we said that we were not off to review 410 year old plays, but there are a lot of painted faces, silly pants and fluffy collars milling around. Are we about to see a Shakespearean drama unfold? It does look like the Producers are running around talking to the Directors about some serious cast and story line changes.


Is the Sailing World Cup Melbourne to become the Grand Final of the year, now that Abu Dhabi has pulled out? Melbourne certainly has the right sporting theatre in ‘The G’, and it holds a sell-out Grand Final, each and every year. They know a thing or two about huge events down in Melbourne too. However, big as it may be, the only issue is that you cannot run the SWC in there!

So there’s fit and precedence, but life is not so simple. World Sailing (WS) wants extra dollars for its SWC Grand Final. Well of course they do…

How much, you say??? Well if it was $200k to buy in, as it was when China came on board, does that make it $200k more for the main event?

Now if WS don't have any IP that's valuable in the SWC Grand Final, what do they have at all? True enough, but if WS do not support it completely and forsaking all else, then would you back it? It's now V3 after all......



Many thought Abu Dhabi was pretty much a flop, and it is way easier to get to than Melbourne. From a competitors point of view, Melbourne is close to the end of the world. The only things to call Melbourne a hub are penguins and Taswegians.

Only the latter are eligible for the SWC, but DreamWorks could well have a good story in there for another spin-off from Madagascar!

Perhaps WS thought it was a no-brainer. It’s more likely that WS wanted a decision yesterday, lets say March, whilst the Victorian Major Events Corporation more likely wanted six months to make decision, which clearly does not work, for anyone.

Now before it all becomes the next Spruce Goose (assuming it isn’t already), maybe we can get the cogs at WS and VMEC spinning.

How about they sign a one-year deal, with renewal or rejection rights, based on WS’s performance and have the cash linked to said effort and even more importantly, the outcome!!! Have a small deposit up front, and then incentivise via more spondooli. Works for me…

Thank you Dorothy Dicks, I hear the question already. Are WS and VMEC up for that, however? Hhmmmmm. Still, short of selling the aforementioned movie rights, this seems to be the most like a win-win out of all of their options.

Today World Sailing's Malcolm Page told Sail-World, ‘…the decision makers in Melbourne are fully behind the concept and negotiations are occurring as we speak. Steps are progressing positively.’

We will not be the only ones looking forward to an announcement on that soon.

So if life is not so simple and easy, and with thanks to another Malcolm, but is it really meant to be this hard? I think not!


Anyway, every good play has twists and turns in the plot and here’s another. Sail-World floated a further question of WS, which still remains unanswered, ‘Can you outline why the 2016 SWC Grand Final will be better than last two, given that some/many of the top competitors will have retired, or are resting post Rio?’

Is this the plot line no-one saw coming and makes everyone aghast as it comes thundering in to smack you over gills?

Don’t ponder for too long, for we also have also the proverbial elephant in the room. It’s a large one too, and as it enters from Stage Right you’ll see it goes by the name of Tokyo.

This is one venue that would draw post Rio sailing competitors. It is Fujisawa, just outside Tokyo, where Enoshima Bay will be the sailing venue for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, just as it was back in 1964.

Then here is the thing, would Japan pay big spondoolies for the Sailing World Cup Grand Final, given the fact that they are odds-on favourites to replace Qingdao as a SWC venue anyway? Naturally, this means a different time of year to Melbourne and so the cycle will change to meet the big fish – 2020.


And so then you’re left with the ugly sister not getting a gig to the ball. Whoops, wrong author. Maybe it is the bloody dagger from Macbeth that finally puts the Spruce Goose to rest. Is this how the final scene has been written?

Ultimately, this overriding question remains. If you cannot push a rope, why is One Sailing bothering? The Victorian Government appears to need every dollar in its coffers right now…

When it is all said and done the only event non-sailors really understood was the Women’s Match Racing. Sadly it is not even on offer anymore, but let's not get into WS and their choices for Olympic Classes.

Now, now. Hush please. The bells have sounded, the champagne glasses left on the bar, and the lights dimmed. Please take to your seats, for the curtain is rising, and Act Three is about to begin….

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