Pirate life - An unforgettable experience

by Henry Bomby on 19 Mar 2015 Recently I sailed from Torquay to Granville with the founder of the Rockfish Seafood chain, Mitch Tonks and The Seahorse, Dartmouth chef, Jake Bridgewood.

Below is an account, written by Mitch, that I can neither confirm, nor deny, as accurate.

'Local sailor Henry Bomby nearly had his Figaro dreams cut short by French customs officials as he blatantly flouted any regard for international maritime law. French officials had a tip off that Bomby and his crew, sponsor Mitch Tonks and wonder chef Jake Bridgewood, were in fact sailing illegally as pirates. Meaning their vessel was unregistered, and was most likely involved in drug or people trafficking. A crack team of customs officers shadowed the vessel over night and monitored it's every movement on AIS. When it docked the officers, who were fully armed waving guns from their hips and in full blue combat uniforms insisted no one left the vessel. Bags and safety equipment were searched.

The officers hopes were raised when it was revealed that Bomby had what looked like 'hash', packed neatly in tin foil in the side of his bag, but lab reports later confirmed it as Bomby's Mums delicious chocolate biscuit mess. The officers were now even more suspicious and all passports were confiscated and waved in the air. The crew were terrified as the officers only spoke French but made it clear they were not to leave and were to be confined to the tiny cockpit area, that wouldn't be big enough to even lie down in should they be detained for a longer time.

Mr Bomby was detained on a grey prison boat whilst officers checked his nationality and ownership of the boat. The crew were warned that cash was going to be needed to secure Bombys freedom and were sent into the local bank to collect an undisclosed amount of cash which was handed over to the Police. Under duress and without legal representation, the whole crew were made to sign confessions written in French before their passports were released. Mr Bomby was released some time later and charged under international piracy laws, once released the crew and Bomby sped off in a car commandeered from a local, they were dropped at an unnamed petrol station where they rendezvoused with Europcar who provided an escape vehicle. The boat remains impounded and under heavy guard.

It is believed the crew escaped France smuggled into a luxury ferry cabin and are due back soon, the whereabouts of Mr Bomby currently remains a mystery after eating and drinking for 9 hours in a St Malo restaurant where he was believed to be escaping the horror of the ordeal. Bomby was last sighted purchasing a skull and crossbones flag from a gift shop in St Malo, it is believed he will try to escape and be more open about his pirate status by flying the offending flag from his forestay.

Meanwhile the crew are back safely in the UK after undergoing counselling in the on board restaurant and bar. Their condition is now said to be hungover, but are expected to make a full recovery. It goes to show how important it is for the French authorities to keep themselves in work by making these minor situations into international exchanges, everyone visiting France should be warned about this gunslinging attitude, which could turn fatal at any second.'